I'm coming out!

I'm a secret Benidorm fan, "Are you ready to come out?" When he replied yes his mum thought he was gay, oh classic moment!

Anyway Iam now drinking more, spending a few hours awake every few days, for anyone wondering where I am - I'll be out soon :o)

Happy Birthday tooooo meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

It's my birthday, an exciting fun packed non stop day,non stop sleeping but what do you expect I'm a tortoise and it''s oh so cold I am getting put in the bath every other day but that is about it for my activity levels...

M25 tortoise madness

What are the chances of a tortoise dodging cars on a slip road to the M25?

http://news.uk.msn.com/uk/article.aspx?cp-documentid=149785318

and how did he get there?

100 days to go

Apparently there are 100 days until Christmas, personally I have tried slowing down already this weather is rather confusing though, thought i was getting ready to part time hibernate then she shoves me outside in the sun, maybe my internal calendar is not weather dependent...

I have started eating the winter pansies already, they looked so nice, now they look like nibbled remains but we have a lovely collection of weeds growing in the dining room, my Christmas dinner?

Impressive vet

When I need a vet I hope it's one like this one :o)

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1209653/You-Vet-shells-B-Q-drill-save-life-tiny-tortoise.html

help

Sad news

Such a sad story
http://news.uk.msn.com/odd-news/article.aspx?cp-documentid=148730145


Hope the girl recovers & they find the guilty party, RIP my chinese relative

Yum

This is one momentous occasion, owner was putting washing out yesterday when she heard a strange noise, it was me eating a baby slug, yum, she thought it was horrible but what does she know? I suspect she was mortified more by the noise I made for ages afterwards how content I am now!

I may need a room

I am appreciating now how Susan Boyle must have felt, this week I have been in Practical Reptile keeping magazine AND also my fine blog has been identified for it's individual writing style, bascially a computer company will send me a fancy touch screen computer for 4 weeks, i write about it at the end of the 4 weeks if I am the most read reviewer I win the fancy computer, if I don't win they send me a little netbook for taking part, how good is that? I just need to put my little claw print on the line and my ASUS ET1602 will come flying at me apparently, oh the joy of a new toy! I can't put much about it here but I can link to my review blog. All I need now is a kind person who advertises country cottages for tortoise in Practical reptile keeping to offer me a holiday home, for those who know I have a log cabin well the one in the advert looks even better than that.

Liking this weather, sun, weeds, water, this is the life, may not need the room in the Priory just yet...

Still looking

Torches at the ready, wellies on, join me for the search party? http://lifeofatortoise.blogspot.com/2009/05/granny-is-that-you.html

Managed to catch up with Blue Peter, they race different types of tortoise by putting them in a circle & seeing which one reaches the edge of the circle, made from lettuce leaves by the look of it, owner was surprised this is what happens at Oxford uni??? Then the winner got to race the Blue Peter tortoise Shelly in narrow wooden race lanes, the tortoises were NOT impressed, owner wasn't, I wasn't, then one was carried a bit down the race track & declared the winner, great, make tortoise look like a toy, encourage a whole era of badly informed tortoise keepers...

Granny - is that you?

I wonder if the wonders of technology and the lovely people who read my blog could help me search for any long lost relatives of either me or any other tortoise. There is a prize for the eldest tortoise found, he he I thought, I'll just rewrite my blog and claim to be a 200 year old rare never heard of before miniature tortoise (well poodles can be mini!) but if you are going to claim this rather exciting status, then proof is required, not just a pic of you & your birthday cake with zillions of candles on, more info is here http://www.pethouseclub.com/blog.aspx?id=238

A day filled with excitement, there were 2 tortoise on Blue Peter this morning, sadly turned off before the race, hmmm Blue Peter, I still hold them responsible for the loss of many tortoise, remember the advice to put your tort in the airing cupboard to keep them warm??? Sadly a death sentence :o(


My next installment will tell the story of the day I was mistaken for a girl... I just need time to come to terms with the incident...

Lost or stolen?

I came across this story, reminded me of the recent lottery ticket news story, by finding something doesn't mean it's yours. I think the behaviour is shocking, no attempt to find the owner??? It's not like you see a tortoise wandering the streets every day.

http://www.google.com/hostednews/ukpress/article/ALeqM5hTP0lrpIT-u-Eq_UNh5gufdpk4Og

Not to mention taking a tortoise home with you, I presume not many households have a spare UV bulb in the cupboard.

Bargain of the day

Owner does pride herself on shopping around, here she will share bargain of the year, save 50p on the magazine mentioned in the previous post, go on you know you want to see the picture mentioned, this way it can be delivered to your door for £2.50 imagine what I could have done with that 50p, half a pack of dandelion seeds!

http://www.practicalreptilekeeping.co.uk/

For my fellow twits follow them here

http://twitter.com/ReptileMagazine

May I also take this oppurtunity to compain about the weather after my garden area was all tideied up (again) for me yesterday it rains today, destined for a day under my lamp with a few dandelions

Shocking really...

The owner returned from her shopping trip with a first edition of Practical Reptile keeping, she kept it from me initially, strangely enough at the side of the microwave until she got some peace and quiet, one of the little people is also doing a project for school about reptiles, ever keen for pictures but this magazine will stay intact. There is loads of information in it about tortoise, what more could anyone want? Owner had a flick through in the shop, if it had said to keep tortoise in glass tanks she would have been mortified, but no, KEEP YOUR TORTOISE IN A TORTOISE TABLE SET UP, let us breathe in an open air environment, hurrah, I hope the message reaches some of the mean people who let my relatives live in condensation filled tanks.

The real shock of the magazine was the pictures, lots of high quality pictures, stories about a trip to the Galapogos islands, but.... I can hardly type there were some erm, mating pictures, no everyone should this picture owner referred to it as tortoise porn but I think she is exagerrating, the tortoise just looks very happy, I presume copyright & all that I can't include it, but everyone should see it, absolute classic!

Go & buy Practical Reptile keeping now!

Wow!

The owners have returned... all wearing the same glasses, thought optician appointment wasn't until tomorrow, chatter concludes they have been to see monsters vs aliens, they weren't even gone that long, needle poked in eye, amazing! yeah sounds it... flying balls into your face, they seem impressed, doesn't sound so good to me but they brought back a dandelion with them, I think they feel guilty for the influx of popcorn they have consumed.

They had another home in visiting the cinema, the new tv would seem smaller when they returned, but no it still looks gigantic! Impressive picture quality, looks more coloured in than the last one, deeper colours they say they spent last night flicking between normal football and football in HD, they were admiring the patterns on the grass, never mind the grass, where are the dandelions!!!

A new arrival

i wish they would keep me better informed of what is going on, the morning started bright and early (too early if you ask me) the netire room turned into a building site whilst a new creation was built, a phonecall "30 minutes" panic followed, could they build the creation before the 30 minute deadline.... I am sure you are on the edge of your seats, I was on the edge of my shell, but no they didn't make it, this massive box arrived, great I thought, one way of changing the flooring = cover it all in cardboard boxes! I decided to snooze whilst Mrs Owner left the building, by the time she returned there was a big difference, out with the little tv in with the, the, how do I describe it, an almighty moving picture sat on the new creation, I say sat but they keep calling it a stand, a bit more shuffling around with the conclusion that actually it's still rather big for the room, should have invested wsely in Romaine lettuce instead I think

One tracked mind

News has got out... the locals know about my habit, a collection of children called with dandelions for me, very kind, but I can't eat that many in one day, I am tiny, little worried that they have picked my future days food too, hmmm, apparently dandelions are not for sale in the local shop nor do they keep well in the freezer, it is a worry, I am off back into the garden just thought you may like to see todays picture and share my concerns

In at number 2

Oh the dleights of twitter, I have been featured in pet bloggers, how I blushed myself out of my shell and back in again, little old me, well not so old...

It's a busy tile round here, school holidays I believe, some days there are loads of people here - I counted 4, other days they vanish, but life is good I have dandelions, not a great pic, what I can do, just can't get the staff, she blames my light, I blame her photography skills!

Surprise...

Tonight I have been twittering after a day in the garden (fasciinating film of me running round on grass to follow) I have been conversing with a published author & didn't know it! He is @Jessicastrust on twitter http://twitter.com/jessicastrust

His website http://www.jessicastrust.org.uk/

And his book, if I had published a book I'd be twittering every minute about it! http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/1905264283?ie=UTF8&tag=jessistrust-21&linkCode=as2&camp=1634&creative=6738&creativeASIN=1905264283

Truly inspirational in my opinion, to try & change things for others after such an immnese loss for him, their children and everyone...

kindness

I have been so touched by everyones kindness as I have tried to collect votes, the kindness of everyone has been heart warming, with only 93 minutes of voting left, I may not win but I have met loads of great people and wonderful animals and been to a apwpawty when I have no paws! Thank you to everyone.

One last time -

Go to link below, click on blue VOTE tab, then put part 2 in search box, click to search, thumbnail result should be Barclaycard waterslide part 2, last couple of days to vote, you can vote everyday, we would so love to win! Thank you x
http://www.youtube.com/barclaycardcreate

sympathy vote

Do I blog about it I thought, my traumatic (for me) day today, Mrs owner seemed to get confused she went to a play at school, then came home & wrapped presents, I wanted to shout it's not Christmas! Then after I am snoozing the number of children in the house more than doubles, oh my, they moved my entire tortoise village to another room (for safety & noise they said) I was feeling sorry for me, then made myself laugh if I blog about it does it look like I am after the sympathy vote given I have waffled on ever so slightly recently about votes!

Go to link below, click on blue VOTE tab, then put part 2 in search box, click to search, thumbnail result should be Barclaycard waterslide part 2, last couple of days to vote, you can vote everyday, we would so love to win! Thank you x http://www.youtube.com/barclaycardcreate

TV changed my life

Before todays revelation, if you voted yesterday/day before/never PLEASE vote again today

Click on the blue vote tab thenPut part 2 in search box then click search,the thumbnail that returns will be the one "Barclaycard waterslide part 2" click to watch, Make sure your volume is up, watch, enjoy, click the green thumbs up below & munch on popcorn!

Come back everyday to vote please. http://www.youtube.com/barclaycardcreate it's only until Sunday!!!


For those of you who watched the Apprentice with me, well it was life changing, thank you, my meal times have taken on a whole new dimension, owner says she is charging £60 per head though if anyone is interested in her catering skills = bargain!

Shy!

Today i am about to reveal myself! The anxiety is setting in, will you all stilll love me when you see what lies beneath my hard shell?

Firstly - I stll need your help, last few days then I will never mention green thumbs again...

Help the lettuce fund, we'd love to win & it would set me up with lettuce for ages - the film can be seen on the link below,

Click on the blue vote tab then

Put part 2 in search box then click search,

the thumbnail that returns will be the one "Barclaycard waterslide part 2" click to watch, Make sure your volume is up, watch, enjoy, click the green thumbs up below & munch on popcorn!

Come back everyday to vote please.


http://www.youtube.com/barclaycardcreate


Now for the picture, this is inside my shell, please be kind with comments, it has taken so much to reveal myself to everyone x

Help the Lettuce fund!

I am coming to terms with being edited out, owner has promised she'll put a film up of me soon, oh I hope it is soon I am even willing to fill the void on the This Morning Sofa, if @Schofe acts fast then if I leave now I'll be there for September...

Help the lettuce fund, we'd love to win & it would set me up with lettuce for ages - the film can be seen on the link below,

Click on the blue vote tab then

Put part 2 in search box then click search,

the thumbnail that returns will be the one "Barclaycard waterslide part 2" click to watch, Make sure your volume is up, watch, enjoy, click the green thumbs up below & munch on popcorn!

Come back everyday to vote please.


http://www.youtube.com/barclaycardcreate

HELP!

I mentioned my acting career, I was so busy filming but my shots haven't been used, I am trying to come to terms with it...

The final film can be seen below (Grandad Tortoise is in it)

Put part 2 in search box then click search, the thumbnail that returns will be the one "Barclaycard waterslide part 2" Make sure your volume is up, watch, enjoy, click the green thumbs up below & munch on popcorn!

Come back everyday to vote please.


http://www.youtube.com/barclaycardcreate

My new career

I have a new career plan, in case my acting career doesn't take off... you've head of a cat burgalar, well I am the tortoise burgalar, I have been practicing climbing out of windows, it was another of those moments where they reach for the camera, I have been living here nearly a year and they still proclaim cute a lot of times, yes you've guessed it there is a picture, it will go down in history as the day i couldn't be bothered to use the door.

Face it... and pancake day

Somebody who shall remain nameless (for now) wanted to see me, I hope the pic below will help with that...

I heard a lot of talk today about pancake tortoises, if you don't know what I mean imagine a rather squashed looking tortoise & ta-dah you have seen one. I thought they were heading for the frying pan, ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh huge sign of relief when I realised that the tortoise is named AFTER the pancake, that makes sense now :o)

My owner isn't very happy today, she has an operation tomorrow, nothing major but still enough to worry her, I may be a bit quiet for a few hours tomorrow if she takes my net book, how else will I type in her absence? It's a worry...

Also if you haven't voted there is still time left

http://www.lgloop.com/images/2819 register with email, click on activation link & voila!

Speak soon no doubt

HELP I AM UNDER ATTACK!

Sucy a scary experience today, I had to hide in my shell until danger had passed, it took ages. I was biting away at this huge Romaine lettuce leaf when I was plunged into darkness, my head shot back into my shell & I waited for danger to pass & I waited & waited... then at long last there was light at the end of my shell, the threat had been moved, at this point I felt a bit silly because it was my lettuce leaf that had fallen on me, yes really, there are pics to prove it... she grabbed the camera whilst waiting to see if I moved, like I would move when I thought the sky had fallen in.

Worry ye not, after this attack she has chopped my leaf up so I can eat safely, huge sigh of relief all round :O)

My night out with ...

I met the Queen, how very exciting, I feel such a lucky tortoise, she didn't speak so much but it was still nice to meet her, managed to sneak a pic :o)

Twitter

I HAVE ARRIVED!!!


http://twitter.com/TobyTortoise

I am completely up to date & running with the height of technology, well maybe not running, but I have followers, people happy to stroll along and follow me, the excitement is just too much, I need to rest, it's too much, I will tuck myself in after supper, oh the comfort of my own bed.

Night x

Happy Valentines Day

Shall I compare thee to a lettuce leaf?

Here's a picture of my valentines rose (not exactly mine but they submitted the photo to a competition so I am sure they aren't too shy about it, make their day and vote!)

http://www.lgloop.com/images/2907

Feel free to spread the word, the more the merrier

A day in the studio

I flew in for a photo session, ready for some amazing art gallery no doubt.

Happy New Year

Happy New Year

Sorry I couldn't stay awake until midnight, let's hope 2009 is a good year.

Before I go for lunch I shall share my resolution plans with you, I want to be a model, I will be a model, I'll enclose a picture from a life drawing class, impressive!